the chain from off the door

staying silent with those i love and kissing those who i do not

i’m gathering all my words to my chest like dry yellow leaves. if 
i really want to kiss the thin cheek of loneliness goodbye, this 
story is the best way i know how. my sister said to me once, “of 
everyone in our family, you seem to need people the least,” and 
even though i shook my head like a wet bird, but she didn’t notice. 
“you’re too good at being hard-to-get,” a boy i did not love once 
told me as we kissed on his plaid coverlet, and though i laughed
and half liked the idea, driving home that afternoon made me sad.
if this is what my life has crept onto, staying silent with those i love
and kissing those who i do not, i want to make a change. i’ve been 
lonely for so long that it’s time to learn what it is like to live again.