the chain from off the door

dillusionment

yeah, it’s hard to hear about
your heroic doings in this town
like they were just yesterday’s
leftovers from somebody else’s
lips. it’s hard to read about you
in the local newspaper. yeah,
seeing you driving up my hill -
one hand on the wheel -
looking pensive gives me two
jolts of electricity; one more 
when i realize you did not see
me. yeah, being back in the 
city that used to love us is
hard. but nothing’s quite so
difficult as going through old 
photos and stumbling across
one of you when we were 
together. you’re grinning like
a fool - i was five months older -
“oh my god,” i think to myself. 
you were so young. back when
we were together, you were so 
young. i close my eyes, in pain
or realization. perhaps you 
were too young to be making 
decisions about my heart.