i could have cried over you but decided to study chemistry instead
i could have cried over you but decided to study chemistry instead. i’m not as heartless as i want to be—i could have cried over you, could have done it readily, even when in public; the library perhaps, or talking with friends. it’s not like what we had was really that great, for despite the true blue of your eyes, you proved to be the most untrustworthy boy i have ever laid lips on, but i am the proudest little girl i know and in my head, this is a giving up. an admittance of defeat. here is my white flag, are you happy now? we’re handing over all our weapons to a neutral third party comprised of friends who tell me “it’s not like you guys didn’t have chemistry, but let’s be real…” so i am being real. the morning smiles on the sight of me slowly snipping the bonds that once tied us so close in our bodies. all of our friends want us to let what we had go. the whole world wants us to leave each other. but what do i want? all of me knows that this is the right thing. all of me knows. still, i couldn’t count the number of people with good intentions who said at the beginning “be careful girl, he might be out to break hearts,” or “hey did you know what he did last night with the girl down your hall?” so many were wary of your intentions back at the crest of september and still i refuted their accusations and let gossip slip by me like cold water. i made your excuses for you after you had apologized, said two sweet things, and asked to see me. back then i was proud to have you calling down my spine, for you confessed yourself to be deeper in than i was. so i thought i had won. no more. the world says leaving you is right, and my heart says the same. my pride will come back to me, leaping like a deer. i could have cried over you, but guess what? i never did.
